not bad, can't complain

if you accept a sad existence then buy it, take it home for the rest of your life and don't complain. i'm sick to death of hearing complaint from people, myself especially. if i start complaining just punch me in the face, i'm serious and it's ok i have a strong face.

there is no difference between me, between you or between any other being on this planet. the only differences between us are in our attitudes.

it's naive to think that we can't save the world. but it is naive to think you can do it by yourself. it is naive to think you can do it in a year. it's naive to think you can do it with an e-mail, with a blog, a website, a phone call or a text message. it's naive to think you can do it with money, or with power. it's down right stupid to think you're going do it buying a fair-trade banana.
How do we save the world?

Who is going to defend us? What is going to defend us? What do we need defending from?

nations carry bombs and soldiers carry rifles, but who is going to defend you, and defend me against the ignorance and against the apathy in this world. pens, books and teachers are the revolution. women and men with their heads held high are the revolutionaries. people proud to be alive are the new future. magnificent human beings ARE.
people who have figured all this out years ago walk along every street, everyday.
life is magical and wonderful, fight for your life and then tell me that i'm wrong.

don't pity, don't hate and stop complaining.

this, this world you live in is your home, whether you walk in the street or another continent. if you see some rubbish on the floor, then why don't YOU pick it up. be an agent of positive change instead of a child in the back seat of social destruction.
never be too busy to help somebody, cause if you fall over, don't expect anybody to be there to pick you up.

the future

Hello my good friends.

You're all superstars and know a vast amount of people, and a vast amount of things across a vast amount of subjects. I'd like to play records and take photographs this year, all over the place (mainly uk also europe+scandanavia). Thoughts, advice, information, logistics, clubs, bars, cafes, festivals, promotion, vacancies, people to talk to, you're mate that owns a warehouse or a venue, costing, pricing, detailed concise specific experience and advice on all these things is what i need. my photographs and music are on this blog: http://tezla7.blogspot.com soon to be improved and upgraded in the next two weeks.

in return i'll help in anyway i can with promotion/photography or participation in anything any of you have going. also if people register an interest i will set up and maintain a passworded blog/website that shares this information between us.

it is a long-term ambition of mine to unite the genius that you are into a strong creative community, to unite creative communities with the audience starved of quality and inspiration by mainstream prescriptive media... but first things first... i need your help.

many thanks,

Will Johnson

williamaj@yahoo.com

school

i remember walking into the rival school's entrance hallway. it was grand, panelled mahogany wood. beautiful. a facade for parents to walk though if they ever decided to visit their kids. i remember the way we used to walk through there, admiring the wood and the piano and the placement and such. admiring things the way they were, and at the same time thinking "we're going to smash these boys to pieces"

you see for as long as i played rugby, as long as i was a school boy, i played for and was a part of the toughest team in the country. for a long long time there was no greater pleasure for me than to hit a person so hard they couldn't get up because they couldn't remember their name. that primal aggression never troubled me, but it didn't last. as i grew older it faded, and a small boy cannot fell young men without a killer attitude.

i'm comfortable that that was the way my mind came to be, although there's no doubt any will has ever left.

Bending

seems to be a trend in my understanding; the more curvy, sensuous, thin and attractive the women come, the less they can dance, in fact the less they seem to be able to move at all.

on my walk home i felt quite absolute about this, that i couldn't be with a woman that couldn't move herself to music. then i thought, there isn't anything that any person cannot learn or unlearn.

tension, rigidity and stress exist in most peoples bodies in some measure. think and put your thoughts and feelings around your body. anywhere you and your body are not completely relaxed, change this. the softer and more relaxed you and your body are, the longer you will live and the happier you will be.

London

Have you got back after a few beers poured yourself a glass of tap water, drank some and thought
"ahhh i'll take the hangover, cos this water is worse"
Have you been on the underground with two different people standing on your feet with the sound of the train on the tracks so loud it feels like being the victim in a horror film?
Have i got anything less insightful to say about London that hasn't been said so many times by Northern English people that it misses the point more than a space hopper on a bouncy castle?
yes i do:
one thing travelling does do is broaden your context of thought. One thing that London is, is interesting, very very interesting. i am here for a reason other than passing through or as a tourist. while there are things i would love to dislike about this city it's the same issues that exist in many other large cities in varying degrees in some shape or form.
i think the important thing is to get over oneself and focus on what London has to offer. what it has are people, things, ideas and places that are truly unique and fascinating, set in a seemingly infinite diversity of ethnicity, culture and probability of possiblity.

i would disagree with the meaning in the proverb: "variety is the spice of life"
i believe:
"variety is as important to the mind as breathing is to the body"

Chocolate cake

I think i've discovered the mistake in Sainsburys price reduction logic. it came to me while staring at stale cakes reduced to £3. it seems the supermarket reduces the items based on their original price, rather than pricing them based on their actual worth (which in the case of a stale cake would be about 50p) the fact it used to be worth a lot more money is irrelevant.

i am opposed to this approach for two reasons: firstly i'm a tight Yorkshire man and here in Yorkshire i'm definitely not alone. i'm certainly not stupid enough to pay £3 for a stale cake, so the cakes that would be perfectly edible do not get eaten because they're priced far too high. this leads to the second reason that the cakes then get taken from the shelf and thrown in the bin. old food used to be given to the homeless but UK health and safety regulations put an end to that.

so the food gets wasted. wasting food really is a disgusting thing to do. the 'freegans' of the world (persons who liberate out of date food from food retail refuse bins) could then acquire this chocolate cake from the bin when it's thrown out at the close of the business day, except the bins are now padlocked because of health and safety reasons. it seems someone ate food out of a bin and successfully sued someone because they became ill. perhaps we should grill the lawyers and health and safety officers and then eat them. after that, if somebody gets sick precious little will happen.

in 2010 i think that some people have decided not to accept their inevitable death. they buy life insurance, wear 'anti-ageing' skin creams, they enforce rules and regulations to ensure that people won't get hurt through whatever obtuse or irrational reason. they pay for protection for their possessions, shopkeepers used to pay the mafias, now everyone pays the insurance companies. all these issues aside, none of this will avoid the unavoidable fact that when the time comes, that's it. it's all over. fully comprehensive gerbil insurance ain't guna keep your heart beating.

all this may come as a depressing thought that most would rather ignore. i can understand, death is a distressing concept to those that haven't done it many many times before. those that have might share my sentiment that meditating on the natural course of death is a genuinely magnificent way to appreciate life. because you don't know what you've got till you've gone.

Check in

"Broccoli Broccoli Broccoli!"
the young man says, if he didn't it would cease to exist underneath his hands and within my mind.
"D'yer want sugar in yor hot chocolate?"
fascinating concept, another: Online check-in opens 60 days before the flight departs. i can confirm my arrival up to 60 days before i get there... heeeehee right yeah..

Rant

I need to travel 220 miles. First i check the train prices my favourite (fastest and most environmentally friendly) means of travel anywhere and in any country: cheap advance fare £85. second i check the airplane prices just to get a little context: £75.20

aaaaaahhhh, i exhale the way a man does when he's so tired he forgets he's going to have to breath in again. the plane is 3 times quicker and costs £10 less but getting on a plane and flying 200miles on a non-essential journey over ground is a complete joke if you ask me. so, why is the plane £10 cheaper to travel 220 miles than it is to get on a train that costs a fraction of the running cost?

I'm walking along and a man walks past followed by the mysterious eyes of a woman wearing a burqa. is there anything more disgraceful to the human race than a woman hidden in a burqa? Nicolas Sarkozy said that burqas are "not welcome" in France, commenting that:
"In our country, we cannot accept that women be prisoners behind a screen, cut off from all social life, deprived of all identity"
wearing a burqu has been banned in French schools since 2004. thank God someone can still call a spade a spade "touché, appeler un chat un chat". Home Secretary Alan Johnson raised the UK terror alert from "substantial" to "severe" despite no intelligence to suggest why, best make sure and put our soldiers in the airport to play it safe ay? ah, wait, they're in Afganistan shooting people....inconvenient

America has sent over a thousand marines armed to the teeth to Haiti, taken over the airport and turned it into a military base. now planes full of aid, medicine and water have been denied landing while Chinooks swarm in full of bullets for what Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton called a major effort to provide earthquake relief. i'd give you the link to the youtube video, but it's mysteriously disappeared.

i'm in a lot of pain, anger and irritation comes easily. my back has locked up again like it did in Australia, i can't really walk or lay down, my left shoulder can't take any weight or tension and my guts hurt from being burned and lasered by a surgeon on wednesday. to make things worse all i seem to hear from people left right and center is moaning and complaining about this, that and everything else. it's depressing, but i really do understand. i do my very best not to encourage or amplify negative sentiment as i walk along the high street in the town centre at midday in the dark, past empty bankrupt retail outlets while a well dressed student plays a funeral song on her amplified violin.

Jesus Christ what happened? did we lose a war i don't know about? sometimes i think that some people are happy being miserable, which of course is fine but it won't do for me. Another way to look at things is to look at the cause rather than the symptoms. where i live there is rubbish left everywhere, it really irritates me so i pick up rubbish and end up carrying it round for miles because there aren't any rubbish bins. transport is the same, taxation is extremely high to deter motorists, but the alternative is very infrequent, irregular and very expensive public transport. a poor alternative is no alternative at all. however, we should accept such things and have the attitude to either change them or live with them. life isn't easy but we're all in the same boat so lets get on with it. you won't get clean by rolling about in the mud.

Soldier boy

screw driver in hand i'm fixing the door, the cold weather has made it stick and fail to close properly. in such icy weather i'm wearing my paratroop boots, plain green trousers, black jacket and a burglar style thinsulate hat (the only hat i haven't had stolen). this lovely ensemble is nicely rounded off with a Glock 6" combat knife securely holstered in my belt, the perfect tool to scrape out the ice in and around the door frame and shave off any splintered wood around the door. unaware they're in earshot my two new neighbours confer quietly as they approach walking up the stairs to the entrance of our building,

"he's a bit..."
"oooo i see what u mean"

i keep this amusement for myself. for me in rough weather, function often supersedes fashion. i often wear warm comfortable clothes, practical footwear and dark colours that don't show dirt. sometimes i look very much like a bad-ass squadie in civvis. difficult not to look like that in those boots without a load of dreadlocks on top of your head, difficult not to wear them in the snow when the soles are made by a tyre company and the fabric is thick leather, breathable, waterproof and they cost £30.

super hardened high polymer lightweight plastic cases the military uses to transport guns and rocket launchers i use as luggage for my laptop and camera gear. an LED torch housed in aircraft grade aluminium that's brighter, lighter and more battery efficient than anything in it's class. the Glock knife sharp and strong with a hole in the holster so it doesn't fill up with rain, a clip on the hilt so you can't grab it from my hip and the top guard which just 'happens' to be the perfect size to open beer bottles. fancy that, the standard issue knife of military forces worldwide has a hook that opens beer bottles....what a co-incidence!

i think the things that attract me to the military issue items that i possess isn't a romantic idea about war or an insecure attempt to project toughness to those around me, but an enthusiasm and excitement about things that work. i'm not a mechanically minded person that likes to disassemble things, take them to bits then repair them while putting it all back together. i'm a person that likes it when none of that is necessary. to buy and own things that other people might scoff at with distaste, but items which last me a decade, are beautifully designed, operate perfectly, are repairable and keep me and my equipment safe. quality long term.

i do think that it's a shame that such huge financial and intellectual resources are invested in weapons of war when they could be practically applied to improve human life with medicine, healthcare, logistics, welfare, housing, communication, peace and prosperity. i don't wear the boots to kick hippies, i wear them to keep my feet dry.

Australia

yeah i'd like a light fruity red please. i'm sold a 14% wine for £10 that's as weak and delicate as a pit-bull terrier.

it goes without saying the 3 months i have spent in Melbourne are not enough to discover the scene there is here. there are some great restaurants, cafes, bars and shops, but how is that different from any other cultural capital? for me it isn't. being from Yorkshire and living in Melbourne was like living a long way away from home without being anywhere different. Melbourne has some cutting edge things but nothing truly amazing, except the public transport system and screw-top beer bottles although the actual beer in the bottles is terrible and alcohol everywhere is extremely expensive, think upwards of £6 a pint.

so in a few hours i take a long flight back home. England... well... it's cold and wet, but the water is good, the alcohol is cheap and the internet is fast. so when it's been a cold wet day i go home, have a cup of tea or a beer from anywhere in Europe for a £1 and feel a bit better about everything. i can eat the best meat and vegetables. i can listen to the best music on the best sound systems in the world. i can switch the radio off when bob dylan starts his radio 2 show, then switch on my computer and use the internet at a speed that doesn't make me think it's 1999.

if nothing else, every 10,000 miles i travel i like to think i learn another lesson. maybe this one is that i should start going on holiday instead of trying to leave the country.

"chip and run with the sandwich,"

says the television commentator, golf jargon i believe, so i wandered to the loo and one of those motion sensor fragrance machines activates like a burglar alarm in a bank robbery movie, this time it fills my face with 'pine forest'. when you're sat down and you look at your cup on the coffee table, reach over and there's no tea left when you thought there was, it's awful in't it? when did i drink that?

"i quite enjoy Bernard Langer in a bunker"

confesses the television, when you're sat down and you look at your cup on the coffee table, eyes full of wonder, reach over and there's half a cup of tea left when you thought there wasn't, it's fantastic in't it? half a cup left, great.

Eardrums, terminated

afterwards the unapologetic cinema manager used a pen and paper to illustrate that this is "as the director intended" as i staggered around blind deaf in fear of airborne terminator attack. apparently to have it any quieter would spoil the dialogue, which would then spoil the film for everyone. i find this ironic with a film where not hearing the dialogue would make little difference. 'Terminator: salvation' is a story about the fight for survival after judgement day and arguably a post-apocalyptic world may not be a pleasant and comfortable experience, but people don't go to see 'Rocky' to get punched in the head.

i've had ringing in my ears for about 5 years now as a result of only a few hours prolonged exposure to high frequency noise (a pretty good description of Terminator 4). i will never in my waking life hear silence again. it's something i wouldn't wish for anyone, and certainly not something i would choose to pay for at the cinema. take care of your hearing.

Bacon

I got 7 slices of bacon in my 6 slice packet yesterday, free is good, bacon is also good.

Bike!

Standing at the corner when a cyclist pulled up and waited at the lights.  i remember when i used to cycle.  loved it, i remember flying down this very same hill where i'm standing overtaking cars and ploughing head first through red lights.  i remember having a bike like that, a hybrid, a hybrid with black pannier rack, continental road tyres, sprayed black, wait.  that IS my bike!!! and it's gone down the hill.  every bike i've owned has been stolen, that was my favourite, i sprayed it black so people wouldn't know it was expensive, so they might be less inclined to steal it...

Awake

"If we are open only to discoveries which will accord with what we know already, we may as well stay shut. This is why the marvellous achievements of science and technology are of so little real use to us. It is in vain that we can predict and control the course of events in the future, unless we know how to live in the present. It is in vain that doctors prolong life if we spend the extra time being anxious to live still longer. It is in vain that engineers devise faster and easier means of travel if the new sights that we see are merely sorted and understood in terms of old prejudices. It is in vain that we get the power of the atom if we are just to continue in the rut of blowing people up.
Tools such as these, as well as the tools of language and thought, are of real use to men only if they are awake-not lost in the dreamland of past and future, but in the closest touch with that point of experience where reality can alone be discovered: this moment."
(Alan W Watts, The wisdom of insecurity)

Automatic people

9pm yesterday i was walking along the supermarket checkouts and i felt a bit strange, then i realised why. I settled for the end closest the exit, where one employee was surveying 4 machines. then i went through the automated, automatic process, a touch screen monitor and a computer telling me what to do. I remember feeling degraded and humiliated. After i'd finished with the whole thing, which seemed to take along time, i turned around to the employee and said:
"i don't like this. it's spooky"
"You'll get used to it"
"I don't want to. I really don't want to"
In China the bigger the company the more people they have to employ by law. Hence sometimes there seems to be people doing jobs that seem to be doing very little, like 4 people stacking the same Wal-Mart shelf, or people waving in buses with little flags at the bus stop. Yeah, on the surface it seems a little bit silly, but, in reality, there is nothing silly about more people having a job, and if a bigger company need employ more people, it enforces a better equilibrium. This big supermarket i walked around had replaced maybe 50 peoples jobs with automatic machines, and as i was told, i should get used to it. i hope i never get used to a machine telling me what to do, the day that happens is the day i stop being a human being. Now, i have worked on a supermarket checkout, i will say it's not the most enthrawling job in the world, but, 'the sweet isn't as sweet without the sour' and it got me interacting with people and it put some money in my pocket. Sometimes technology isn't progress, 'The Machine Stops' by E.M. Forster springs to mind, click for the link to the story published exactly 100 years ago where nobody leaves their rooms because machines do everything for them.

Credit Manuva

You may or not know about Rodney Smith, aka Roots Manuva. Speaking as a Yorkshire DJ, with the opinion that not only does this man know what he's talking about, but i feel he's a modern day hero. In a time and place where heros may be perceived to be in short supply you may listen to this music and be inspired whether you understand or not. Like Braintax, who is another hip hop hero, there's little ego and lots of substance. Music like art can be a compromise between the aesthetic and conceptual, i.e. sounding good/saying something important. Some people are heros because they can do both. Some people are also heros because they've fallen, been trodden into the floor, bloodied bruised, picked themselves back up, cleaned themselves off, pulled themselves together then shared their experience for the good of the world.
Experience from the experienced, isn't that what it's is all about?
As for me China has been hard, but because of things beyond my control, and often things unrelated to China. I spent 6 weeks in Beijing, a place with such high air pollution exercise was actually making me less healthy, i paid £900 for a TEFL course which taught me nothing, but a lesson in unethical business practice, and that a TEFL certificate is not necessary to teach English in China. Now i've spent 2 weeks in Changchun where it's so cold moisture and snot freezes to your face. These are both big cities, i don't care for big cities.
i want a holiday, i want a beach that looks like paradise on a postcard, close your eyes and you can see it, mine has a palm tree on the left diving down into the middle with white sand and clear blue sea. paradise is a state of mind, for me it's also a beach in Fiji:
"If the system ain't workin' you betta' think about desertin' or bringin' in some higher learnin'" (mc covert, track: 'are you on it?' album: skitz countryman)

Bad day

A really bad day and in my mind the world tumbles
down.

Hard day:forgetaboutitbrushitoff
doesn't really work. i want to shout! moan... complain;,. and BREAK something.
any rhetoric or mantra makes about as much difference as a hippie in a war zone.
Suffice to say this...there is very little one can understand in this world when preoccupied with yourself. multiple combinations of everything going wrong happens, it's very difficult not to break out the violin and play a sad song wallowing in self pity. when dejected try and calm yourself and when elated try and do the same. the reason:
are you really the reason? does your bad day have anything to do with your actions? if so improve them, otherwise 'cest la vie', this is life. it's a hard thing for an ego to deal with, and an ego is a difficult thing to understand, the question is simple:
"does my bad day have anything to do with me?" if i'm walking down the road and get driven into, then fall on the stairs because it's slippery. reach the work place to find out my work is cancelled for the day and i was not informed. does this have anything to do with me? did i make those stairs slippery? was i responsible? did i erroniously walk into the road or was the driver a muppet reversing into a main street and not watching anything?
try not to take everything personally, the real challenge is to understand what is trivial and what is important. some things are matters of fate; matters beyond personal control should be understood as just that. if all else fails buy several kgs of rice in fabric casing and punch through it repeatedly. keep your back straight and use your whole body exhaling on impact.

the seams

In Toronto a guy said to me, "ah yes, i know Yorkshire. it's a good place to be from"
there's no inspiration here, thoughts and feelings are locked up, and ANY strange behavior, flair or flamboyance is looked down on. in 5 years or so when there's much more students the divide is going to get more severe: "us and the students" a 'we belong here and you lot don't' mentality, which is fair enough. i agree, generally students move in, f*ck everything up, then leave. but it's now government policy that every young person should be one. in the name of equality and P.C. everything has become absolutely insane. unlivable. while the last generation fights hard to save it, the next to destroy, us here an now should not waste our energy when it's strongest. the rest of the world need our talents, this little island doesn't.
whats the solution? well what about more advanced countries, Greece or Finland for example. In Greece university is free and so are the course books and material. In Finland they teach the children several languages instead of xenophobia. In Switzerland EVERY civilian is legally obliged to own 1 rifle per household. This rifle must be operational and every resident should know how to shoot it. In China everyone gets up on a saturday or sunday morning, goes to the local park and practices Tai Chi. In Australia they know how to play rugby and cricket, instead of just inventing it, then importing players to compensate as kids are indoors, too lazy too bored.
somethings are more important than politics, and since when was our politics been correct? 1910 just before WW1 when everyone was lovin' it get smashed out their faces on high quality unprohibited legal substances. smash it up, tidy up, cctv for your safety and protection...i feel safer that you were watching when i got a beating on the train, now i feel safer in the NHS hospital that tragically, is free. Perhaps it's time for a dictator? A dictator to dictate while i write down everything we need to do on an electronic piece of paper, which can then be viewed or ignored by the general public worldwide.
England has been sliding down the plughole for decades, like a spider, it's just not going to get out. it should be used as a precautionary model, like the 'titanic'
i live here because right now i have no choice. if you own a place give us a lift, otherwise when there's more than £1 in my bank accounts i'm gone when the wind changes.
such conversations help us both, and in turn everyone else. without pubs and community they're lost, in turn so are we. most people really don't like hearing certain things, and absolutely:
absolutely f*cking tuff. if they don't like it, treat them like fireworks: in the right time and place, set their fuse, light it and retire to a safe distance...
telling people things they need to know is an obligation. oblige me. much obliged.

hmmm

hmmm. its all getting a bit serious and preachy. i intend to get back to the program. good quality occasionally light-hearted nonsense, with good bits mixed in: like a good radio station. hmmm yes, did i mention i like cables. dont throw out your cables, give them to me, and i shall smile. i also like £5 notes, Barr cream soda, and big sandwiches.